Facing your insecurities

Insecurities are some of the hardest things for people to deal with every day. We all have insecurities, but honestly, we all shouldn’t be slaves to them.

I’ve always struggled with my body image, my personality, and my smile. To this day, I have these insecurities, but I want to spread awareness as well as give some advice about how to deal with them.

According to psychologist and life coach Melanie Greenberg, there are three common causes of insecurities. The first type of insecurity is based on recent failure or rejection, the second on lack of confidence because of social anxiety, and the last driven by perfectionism. 

Greenberg says, “The kind of childhood you had, past traumas, recent experiences of failure or rejection, loneliness, social anxiety, negative beliefs about yourself, perfectionism, or having a critical parent or partner can all contribute to insecurity.” 

According to The Light Program, “Insecurities develop when we compare ourselves to others and feel less than. They occur when we experience a consequence for being different from others in a perceived negative way or when we feel we do not measure up to where we ‘should’ be.” This tells us that insecurities are also negative thoughts that we have about ourselves, or that occur when we think we aren’t good enough. 

The question, though, is how do we overcome these insecurities? How do we get out of our heads about something caused by our own thoughts and opinions? It might seem complicated, but it is not impossible. 

Academy of Professional and Public Services student Jasmin Jackson (’22) tells us, “Just focus on yourself, because at the end of the day you only have yourself, and if you let what other people say get to you, then you won’t have yourself anymore and you let them win the fight.” Jackson adds, “You are you, and you can only be who you want to be and you shouldn’t let other people dictate how you dress, how you look, how you think or how you feel. That’s up to you.”

We all have tendencies to please other people, which can cause insecurities to grow over time. Instead of aiming to please the people around us, Jackson tells us to focus on ourselves and do things on our own terms, not with the opinion and thoughts of others in mind.

Academy of Arts and Communication student Faith Kabua (’22) says, “I just listen to music and just be in my own world.” 

It’s something that I think all of us have done to cope with our insecurities–blasting music, isolating ourselves from the world, and vibing to songs that are too loud for most to be comfortable with. 

However, we all deal with things differently. Some people can handle certain insecurities, while others may struggle. But at the end of the day, insecurities should not weigh you down; they should be treated as lessons to be learned.

My own piece of advice to you is to embrace your insecurities. I know it sounds easier said than done and will take some time, but it will be worth it when you have a better mindset and can finally say, “I love this part of myself.”

When you finally feel comfortable with things you used to feel uncomfortable about, you truly have conquered yourself in a sense, and I think that’s a beautiful thing to strive for.